Happy Ash Wednesday!

Ash Wednesday 2014Oh crap, we forgot it was Ash Wednesday! Luckily we still have time to enjoying a solemn viewing of “Army of Darkness” [IMDB] to celebrate.  We will accompany the viewing with a sacred (kinda) meal of chicken and tap water.

We will also reflect on the lessons of Ash. Ash teaches us to respect your work-place.  He encourages higher-education and unique solutions to life’s (and unlife’s) many challenges. Most importantly Ash teaches us to face our problems, however many and ugly they may be head on with style.

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Thoughts as you fall asleep…

Thoughts as you fall asleep... I’m going to combine a revolving door and a Magic 8-ball. I’ll call it the “Resolving Door”

Thoughts as you fall asleep…
I’m going to combine a revolving door and a Magic 8-ball. I’ll call it the “Resolving Door”

Puns are the Highest Form of Humor, Right?

It’s not a great joke and probably not in the best of taste, but, dammit, my beautiful bride giggled at it and that’s good enough for me.

House Salad (Tossed)

Thoughts as you fall asleep…

Thoughts as you fall asleep... I wonder what ever happened to my pet rock.

Thoughts as you fall asleep…
I wonder what ever happened to my pet rock.

There Ain’t No Tradition Like a New Tradition!

Presented without undue delay or comment (but a hell of a lot of schoolgirl giggles from a fat old man):

Instructions for My Porch

I wanted to both spend some time with Visio 2013 and formalize my feelings about people wandering onto my porch. This is the result.

You're on my Porch

My wife, unfortunately, has vetoed the actual display of the sign but I still thought somebody else may find it useful.

Messing with Kids’ Heads: A Camp Phone

If you, like we, have successfully convinced your tweeny-bopper that two weeks at sleep-away camp is something for them (as opposed to money well-spent on yourself) you may well find yourself with more free time than usual.  We would like to humbly suggest that you spend some of that time and mess, freely and joyously, with their little heads.

Our daughter, for example, is at a Girl Scout camp that prohibits electronics and, especially, phones.  So in our first letter (daily letter writing being highly encouraged) we decided to send her a “Camp Phone”.  We grabbed a picture of her phone, some screen caps of her favorite apps, sized them all in CorelDraw (but anything would do) and printed the whole mess out on card-stock.

Some highlights:

  • She has a camera app!  Her instructions are: “Frame the shot, press the button and remember what you saw.”
  • She has a YouTube App!  All she has to do is point the phone at something interesting (like a cat or a baby) and watch.  This being version one, however, there’s no rewind.  Or fast forward or pause (unless your subject is really cooperative).
  • We included the “Off” button.  So that she can save power.
  • We’re so wealthy that we included two phones!  See how good we are to her?
  • There’s plenty of games – if you flip through the cards fast enough it looks like you’re winning!

The whole project took about two hours and that includes the pre-requisite fighting with the printer about paper settings.  Pretty cheap to simultaneously let your kid know that you’re thinking about them and completely annoy them.

Max the Fixer

I have been getting flooded with scam calls from people claiming to work for Microsoft and wanting me to give them access to my computer so that they can “fix it”.  The kids they have working the boiler room are incredibly, insanely, hilariously inept so I spent some time with one of them.  Max.  Max the Fixer.

To be clear: this is a scam.  While I do not work with Microsoft I’m sure they will agree: nobody legitimate will EVER call you out of the blue to work on your computer for free.  Nobody, at no company, ever in the history of the microchip.  If you know what you’re doing spending time with these people can make for an interesting diversion; otherwise just hang up.

Consider this a reminder to review this kind of scam with the people you love and support.  It’s painfully clear that this will overwhelmingly target the elderly.  Empower them with the ability to say “No” to these lowlifes.  Free to link or re-blog this as you like.

Fun Sloth Fact!

My favorite podcast, The Skeptics Guide to the Universe, had, as part of a segment, several facts about sloths.  As this one was a huge hit with the kids I decided to work up a little poster.  Since it made me smile I decided to share (click to embiggerize).

Sloth Poster

You might also be interested to know that sloths are surprisingly good swimmers and, thanks to extra vertebrae, can turn their heads up to 270 degrees.

Celebrating Curiosities Safe Landing

As is rightfully being reported everywhere the Curiosity Rover successfully touched down on Mars at 1:30am EST last night (my favorite coverage is at Bad Astronomy).  In the spirit of the day (and with just a tiny bit of national snarkiness) I knocked this up to help show our pride:

Really China, it’s all in good fun!