Movie Review: Thor: The Dark World

IMDB, Thor - The Dark WorldAction/Fantasy, 112 Minutes, 2013: “Thor: The Dark World” on IMDB

Thor, you crazy asgardian god, what’s going on?! Why are you throwing your hammer around? You look like somebody kicked your puppy. What? Your little friend from down in that other dimension get herself all infected with all-powerful ancient evil? Well, I’m sure she’ll be alright.

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Pi Day Movie: Stargate

IMDB, StarGateSci-fi, 121 Minutes, 1994“Stargate” on IMDB

Wanting to celebrate Pi Day with a movie gets a little difficult after the obvious options are ruled out. “Pi” [IMDB] isn’t exactly a family movie. “Life of Pi” [My Review] is great, but we had re-watched it recently on a whim. “American Pie” [IMDB] was floated as a possibility but dismissed as inappropriate for the audience. The excellent and often overlooked “Waitress” [IMDB], about a waitress who expresses herself through gourmet pies, was suggested as well; this was shot down by a small, but vocal minority who didn’t want any “chick flicks”.

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Movie Review: Machete Kills

IMDB, Machete KillsAction, 107 Minutes, 2013: “Machete Kills” on IMDB

There are certain things that you don’t question. Like, why is there always some jackass that tries to cram the boats in diagonally in “Battleship”? Why is there no “gluteus minimus”? Who actually watches “Mike and Molly”?

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Movie Review: Red Dawn

IMDB, Red DawnAction, 93 Minutes, 2012: “Red Dawn” on IMDB

The original 1984 “Red Dawn” [IMDB] was the quintessential “America, Fuck Yeah!” movie of my teenage years. It gathered up all of the boiling, latent paranoia of the cold war, presented us with a horrifying, totally ridiculous (but just barely plausible) situation and celebrated the can-do, never-say-die, suffer-any-hardship, assume-any-loss American spirit that could pull us out of it.

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Movie Review: A Good Die to Die Hard

IMDB, A Good Day to Die HardAction, 98 Minutes, 2013: “A Good Day to Die Hard” on IMDB

John McClane’s son is in trouble in Russia. So he runs over and learns a single anecdotal fact about the entire country from the first person that he meets. Later he hinges a major life or death decision on it. Die Hard!

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Movie Review: Red 2

IMDB, RED 2Action, 116 Minutes, 2013: “RED 2” on IMDB

I’m a big fan of the original “Red” [IMDB] and, in general, of everybody involved with it. The comics are pretty damn sweet too. For those that don’t know, the story revolves around Frank Moss (played by Bruce Willis [IMDB]) a former CIA operative marked “RED” for “Retired: Extremely Dangerous”. The first movie covered how Frank met the love of his life, Sarah (Mary-Louise Parker [IMDB]), got his old team together and foiled a conspiracy that reached to the highest levels of government.

It was pretty great.

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Movie Review: White House Down

IMDB, White House DownAction, 131 Minutes, 2013: “White House Down” on IMDB

Straight from the “Die Hard” [IMDB] home kit comes this story of a struggling everyman whose dream is becoming a secret service agent to impress his precocious, politics obsessed daughter. When the White House is attacked by a team of terrorists (white terrorists, you racist) he teams up with the action, kung-fu grip president and gets the job done!

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