Movie Review: Stuck in Love

IMDB, Stuck in LoveDrama/Romance, 97 Minutes, 2012: “Stuck in Love” on IMDB

You know what makes a good love story? When you can’t decide if the people involved are assholes or not, that’s what. If they’re clearly assholes then it’s easy: they don’t deserve love and it’s a bad love story. If they’re clearly not assholes then it’s also easy: they’ll get love but it won’t matter because it’s not real and it’s a bad love story. On the other hand, if you’re honestly not sure there’s a good chance that those characters may be worth caring about. Real people are assholes sometimes and a good love story needs real people.

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Movie Review: The English Teacher

IMDB, The English TeacherDrama/Comedy, 93 Minutes, 2013: “The English Teacher” on IMDB

Miss Sinclair (Julianne Moore [IMDB]) is a dedicated high-school English teacher in a small, Pennsylvanian town. Her encompassing love of literature has given her an overactive romantic sensibility and little patience for ordinary relationships. She’s perfectly content being left alone with her teaching, her cats and her books.

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Movie Review: The Host

IMDB, The Host [2013]Sci-fi, 125 Minutes, 2013: The Host on IMDB

This really wasn’t such a bad idea but tell me, Stephanie Meyer fans, does every single, blessed thing she writes involve a blank, emotionless girl in a love triangle?  Is it a new genre, like Dub Step or dinosaur porn, that I’ve just been blissfully unaware of?

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Movie Review: Video Game High School

IMDB, Video Game High SchoolSci-Fi, 123 Minutes, 2012: Video Game High School on IMDB

[This isn’t technically a movie.  Rather it’s a web series whose first season has been cut into a movie for distribution on NetFlix.  I’m going to treat it like a movie.  So there.]

This entire thing is unabashed, shameless pandering to the video game crowd.  In this world video games are king.  Good players are the rock stars and every teen wants to go to “Video Game High School”.  Brian D is an everyman schlep who accidentally frags the school’s star, “The Law”, and gets a scholarship for his trouble.

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Movie Review: Amélie

IMDB, AmelieComedy, 122 Minutes, 2001: Amélie on IMDB

I recently decided to introduce this film, one of my absolute, all-time favorite movies for ever-and-ever, to my kids.  Both of them, ages 11 and 14, groaned out loud at the idea of “reading a movie”.  Both were completely entranced, as I knew they would be, in the first 10 minutes.

Written and directed by the incomparable Jean-Pierre Jeunet [IMDB] and starring the epically cast Audrey Tautou [IMDB] (I honestly don’t think this would have been possible without her) the film is a love story to the little things in life.  We follow Amélie Poulain, a shy waitress in Paris that sees things just slightly… differently than those around her.

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Movie Review: Friends with Kids

IMDB, Friends with KidsComedy, 107 Minutes, 2011: Friends with Kids on IMDB

This is a spiritual sibling to “Bridesmaids” [IMDB] both in tone and in the simple fact that the two share a hell of a lot of their casts.  For the greater part, the movies are aimed at the same people, have similar levels of tastelessness and generally both work pretty well.

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Movie Review: Pitch Perfect

IMDB, Pitch PerfectComedy/Musical, 112 Minutes, 2012: Pitch Perfect on IMDB

My 10-year old daughter begged to watch this movie about a cappella singing.  Why not?  The movie lets us know that a cappella singing is the coolest God-damndest thing in the entire world!  If you could smoosh extreme cliff-diving, lion-taming and sex into one glistening ball of awesome you might approach how cool a cappella singing is.  For my part I immediately shoved the movie into the corner of my brain where anything I’ve ever seen about “Glee” goes to wither and die painfully.

Why did I end up liking it so much?

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